


A perfect plan

by Lory221B



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Happy Ending, Introspection, Light Angst, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-08-20
Packaged: 2019-06-10 19:07:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15298074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lory221B/pseuds/Lory221B
Summary: The GCPD has an important operation to do and nothing must hinder them. Harvey has the perfect plan to avoid interference by Oswald: finding someone who can distract him. However things do not go exactly as planned and Jim finds himself acting as a love consultant for Oswald.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> These characters do not belong to me, but are owned by DC Comic, Warner Bros, Bruno Heller, etc.; this story was written without any profit for my pure fun and I hope it do not remember others, in which case it would not be wanted, but let me know!

« All right, let's do it » Jim Gordon said. His hands were in his pockets and he was puxxled in what he was doing. He turned several times to the front door of Oswald's office to check that it was actually closed. It seemed to him that Cobblepot had turned the key as he entered, but he was not quite sure. Explaining what they were doing would have been rather embarrassing, especially if someone Oswald's killers came in, or worse, a police officer.

He started to get closer but could not help laughing. Oswald stood awkwardly rigid, evidently tense, standing with his back to his desk, eyes closed, waiting. Jim found him strangely tender and he was amazed of the trust that was putting back in him.

« Why are you laughing?  » Oswald said, slightly annoyed and now he looks much less tender.

« Because you can not just close your eyes, tilt your head slightly and wait » he said, amused.

« Well, I thought you had to do something »

« And you stay there, passive? Is this your idea of "kissing someone"? »

Oswald snorted and rolled his eyes « All right, professor. Teach me! » he replied, spreading his arms in surrender.

Jim became serious and he bit his lip, instinctively, taking a few steps toward Oswald  « You approach and feel the electricity in the air, something that is about to happen. You finally get to be face-to-face, there is that moment before a kiss that you find yourself to smile, a mixture of embarrassment and expectative »

He realized that Oswald had clamped his hands on the edge of the expensive wood of the la desk, almost supporting himself, but he had never taken his eyes off Gordon's. Oswald was trembling, it was a new sensation, everything was new and he had no idea what would happen.

Jim gently placed one hand on Oswald's side and he found himself staring at that hand as if it were not happening to him, and then quickly look back at Jim, in a mixture of terror and desire that something finally would happen.

« What are you doing? » Oswald asked, his voice cracking, slightly higher than usual.

Jim bit his lip again. Although Oswald's panic was funnier than raising interest, Gordon now felt that he had started a storm that he could not stop « Where did you think to hold hands? In your pockets? »

« Well, no ... I don't know » Oswald answered quickly, looking at his hands still stuck on the desk and thought that he could move them somewhere else, but he did not seem to be able to pull them off, as if they had been glued to the wood.

« When you are at this point, so close as to feel the other's breathing and the heart pounding in the chest, well at that moment you can tilt your head ... but do not close your eyes yet » he did in that authoritative way that Oswald liked so much but he would never admit it to Jim, even under torture.

«  Ok ...  » he answered in a whisper, trying to breathe while Jim's face approached awfully. He would have wanted to see himself in the mirror because he feared he had an absurd expression, wide  eyes and trembling lips, even if Gordon did not seem to bother.

Finally they were lips on lips, a light first approach, seemed more like a preview of what would happen. Jim passed his left arm behind Oswald's back while his right hand had left his side and slowly climbed up to caress his hair. He tried to make him relax, he felt Oswald tremble all over him and for a moment he thought to detach from him to make sure it was all right, but just when he was about to retreat, Oswald decided to kiss him back, trying to imitate what Gordon had done until that moment.

Jim took his right hand and finally Oswald decided to leave the defensive position to loosen up and both hands ended up on Gordon.

Jim had completely forgotten why he was there, everything that had happened in the last few weeks, the fact that something like this should never have happened, the fact that he had an operation to coordinate on the other side of the city

He was kissing him with some transport, until he realized he was doing a horrible thing. He was deceiving Oswald, he had not focused too much on his feelings and what implied what they were doing. Or perhaps, he had not wanted to reason about it because he would have realized that in recent weeks he had found himself far more involved than he wanted to admit.

In any case, he could not fool him any further. He broke off suddenly, leaving Oswald gasping, as if suddenly he was missing the air. He pulled back with an expression that hid guilt and something else. Oswald, who until a moment before was smiling, felt his eyes moisten slightly.

« Jim ? » He tried, uncertain, without receiving an answer.

Jim did not open his mouth, looked at him in shock, turned and walked out the door, who discovered he had not been locked, leaving Oswald alone to ask himself what he had wrong.

 

***** * ****

 

_Three weeks before_

 

Harvey entered Gordon's office unceremoniously, a box of donuts in one hand and a bulky file in the other. He closed the door behind him with his foot, being well aware that no one could hear them.

« This operation is too important. We can not afford mistakes » He said, placing the file on the table. Gordon stared at those papers, they had been planning for months how to flush out the gang that was terrorizing the inner city and finally seemed to be the time to put an end to their trades.

« Above all, we can not let Penguin interfere in any way » said Jim « I don’t think he is interested about it but I would not he wanted to claim some form of control »

« That's what I thought, and that's why I have the solution, Captain » Bullock said cheerfully, as he took a donut and began to bite it.

« Tell me » Gordon said, taking a donut in turn.

« The perfect distraction. What do we know about Oswald? We know that this crazy maniac is working so hard to have power as a personal affirmation, to be respected and loved »

« Yes, and so? »

« Sofia had distracted him with an orphan to look after, even before there was the stuff of Nygma. If we could find someone who could distract him the time we carry out the operation, it would be fine »

Gordon looked at him puzzled, not sure where he was getting at « What are you suggesting, Harvey? »

« Cobblepot needs a new accountant and I sent one of our agents from the administrative department, Ben Smith. It looks a bit like you but it is thinner and with glasses, Ed style. The perfect mix »

Gordon could not believe what he had just heard « Wait, what? Did you send an undercover agent without asking me for permission? Do you have any idea what Oswald will do when he finds out? »

« When he will find out, our agent will already be far away. After this mission, he will move to New York by the parents, the father is very ill. Tell me it's not perfect! »

« It is not, Harvey. But now you've put this thing into play and stop it could only drae attention. I just hope Smith is a fairly credible actor »

« It will be fine, Captain »


	2. I need a favor

The absurd plan of Bullock had been into effect a week ago. However, despite all the doubts of Gordon, Harvey's idea had somehow worked because there was very calm on the crime side.

Jim twisted his lips, had studied that file for months, they were just a step away from the gang that terrified the suburbs and everything seemed to be going right. He moved the cards carelessly and then put the coffee cup on them, the fourth of that morning.

That apparent calm was almost suspicious. He was talking about Oswald, he was not naive. He had already been tricked and "cheated" by his feelings, of course, however that was why he would have been more careful, more on guard. It was unlikely indeed that the new arrival, the bookkeeper, recited so well his part to deceive him in an only week.

Harvey threw open the door of the captain's office, then ironically knocked at the open door. « Sorry, I have forgotten you're the boss »

Jim looked up from the cup of coffee, the expression of one who was still deep in thought and was not paying attention to what was happening around him.

« Are you all right? » Bullock answered.

« I was thinking about Cobblepot »

« Well, if you have a crush, don't hold it in » he replied, laughing as he sat down on the chair in front of him.

« It's all too quiet, don’t you think? Did you hear our agent? »

« As you can imagine we avoid long contacts and communications, walls have ears. He called me and told me everything is ok »

Gordon didn’t seem satisfied of the answer. Maybe there was something more that he did not mean or admit, perhaps unlike Bullock who had no qualms about fooling Penguin for a good end, Jim did not feel completely comfortable making Oswald become attached to someone and then meet again alone. It perhaps was not this one of the so many reasons for which it was a broken man that continued hopelessly seeking the power? To feel somehow approved? 

« If you're not convinced , check in person. I 'm sure you could find a reason to go to Oswald » Harvey continued.

« In fact, it may be suspicious. For months we had ignored him and his activities »  Gordon agreed. After the collapse of the bridges, the city had been in disarray for months; the GCPD had used every resource to restore order and put the city back in line but Gordon was sure that Oswald, in his own way, had done the same thing, bringing crime back into control to have a governable city again and for this reason he had never intervened to stop the activities of Penguin. However there was again a semblance of order and they could restore the "old" relationship.

 

 ****** * *****

Oswald's manor was not a place that Gordon had often frequented. Previously there were clubs that used to disguise illicit activities, but since the city had sunk into chaos and then had recovered, many things had changed.

As usual, he had to pass the interrogation of various henchmen, before he could be admitted to talk to the King, but when he finally got to the office he was amazed by the appearance of Oswald. He was sitting at his desk overly pompous, he was always clean cut but he looked tired, he looked very similar to the wasted time when he was under the control of Theo Galavan.

They exchanged a quick glance, that "once again face to face" look, and although he had never been in that room, Jim only looked like a replica of their innumerable interactions.

« So, to what do I owe the honor of your presence this morning?  » Said Oswald, falsely affable, inviting him to sit down on the chair in front of him.

« We have not seen each other for a long time, Oswald »

« Since you left me on the blimp, Jim »

Gordon had a little smile that annoyed Oswald « So, why are you here? What’s worrying Captain Gordon to force him leaving his office and go on until here, after not being able to show him for months while the city was in disarray? »

« Gotham always gets up »  he answered, and without realizing it, Oswald found himself nodding. Both of them loved Gotham, only with different methods.

Jim looked around the room   which did not transmit anything except a certain solitude and he began to worry about it. It did not seem that Oswald was distracted by an interest in another person, he seemed more alone than ever.

Oswald staring at him, cautious, Jim was sure he was studying him, so Jim took advantage resuming the recitation « I came for this, Oswald. The city was on its knees and is just recovering. I know you're in control of crime again and for the moment we're turning a blind eye, since we need stability »

« Are you telling me that you're doing me a favor or are you thanking me for putting the city back in line for you? »

« I'm telling you that things will soon return to normal » he replied, extending his torso toward Oswald and resting both his arms on the desk, in a non-formal but at the same time veiled threat to the head of the Gotham underworld.

A shining passed for an instant in Oswald's gaze, perhaps the idea that things really could return as before. Unlike Jim, he had not given up his comfortable position on the leather chair, in fact he was much more relaxed than when Captain Gordon had set foot in his office.

« I have nothing to hide, James »

« Well » he replied, and he left the over watch position too. There was an almost unreal silence in the manor, Jim found himself wondering who was around Oswald, who he could trust now that he had lost most of the people on whom he had placed his trust.

Oswald let out a faint sigh and it was his turn to approach the desk that separated them.

« We could have done it together, collaborate. Instead, here we are to discuss, once again »

Gordon could not think of anything to say. After Sofia, after all the damage he had caused, he had been careful to make other deals with the gangsters. He wanted to prove to the city, but even to himself that he could do it himself, that the GCPD did not need outside help. He knew it was just an illusion because behind many operations, to act in the shadows, there was just Oswald.

« Are you all right, Oswald? You look bad » he asked, to change the subject.

« Thanks, James. It's always nice to feel an appreciation about myself » he replied, rolling his eyes.

« I’m serious » Jim continued, unable to stop wondering what had happened to him to look so tired.

« It's just business » Oswald said, before making a gesture that unequivocally meant that the conversation was over.

Jim got up from his chair and started to leave; he already had a hand on the handle when he felt Oswald's limping gait behind his shoulders. He had stood up and for a moment Gordon saw that expression of unconditional trust that every now and then, more and more rarely, he saw painted on his face.

Jim expected great speeches, or insults, something, but Oswald just passed in front of him and opened the door to him, keeping an expression that was more challenging than trusting.

Jim left the office but when he was already behind him the comment that he had waited a moment before, arrived « Long time ago I told you that walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light, but you never understood»

« I have friends to walk with, Oswald. I'm not alone » he answered, turning around.

« True, anyway I’am the only one with which you can walk in the dark »

Gordon looked at him strangely, when other steps from the living room distracted him.

« Oh, Jim, I do not know if you know my new accountant. I guess you'll have already filed it or something like that »

The change of expression of Oswald, from annoyed to cheerful, left Gordon rather dumbfounded. Agent Smith smiled amiably and reached out his arm to shake Jim’s hand. Usually Gordon was a good observer, but he had to admit that the agent had never caught his attention and above all really resembled him and Ed. While he was shaking his agent’s hand, he could not help but notice that Oswald's posture, attitude, expression had completely changed. Harvey was right, whatever was at stake, Oswald was definitely interested by the new "accountant". A sense of annoyance pervaded him, the conversation between them had been rather nervous and full of rancor, despite his best intentions, while now Oswald seemed hanging on the lips of the newcomer.

Jim took his leave and left the manor quickly, uneasy about everything that had happened.

 

***** * ****

 

Two days later, Gordon was again seated at his desk. He kept thinking of Oswald, of the fact that he had a strange attitude, of resentment but that he also hid something else and then Smith was appeared and it was as if he had become invisible.

« Are you still thinking about Cobblepot? » Harvey asked, mimicking a heart symbol with his fingers.

« Very funny » Gordon replied, throwing a card that he had balled up before.

They resumed talking about the latest operations and how things were going the right way, at least for once, when Jim got a text message. His eyes got to pop out at seeing Oswald's name.

« We have to see each other now. Back door »

It could be strange to meet openly at the GCPD, especially because Gordon was giving an image of non-corrupt police officer and above all that he didn't tighten pacts with the criminals. For this reason he appreciated not little that they were meeting in secret.

He went down the stairs to the archive, checking that he was not being followed  and  he ran to open the door. It was only a few days after they had met but Oswald seemed another person. He still looked tired but overall he had tried to look his best; Jim could not say exactly what he had changed but he had something different.

« I did not believe I would see you again so soon»

« I need a favor » he said, a little hesitant.

« Really? »

« The other day you seemed worried about me » he replied, keeping his gaze, the damned look that always put Jim in crisis, a mixture of sadness and trust.

« Ok, tell me»

Oswald stammered something unintelligible, and Gordon was forced to ask him to repeat, maybe higher and a little slower and a little softer.

« I said, if I wanted to invite someone to go out, how should I behave? »

Jim thought he had not understand, it was too absurd that he had come up there to ask him that request. Especially after he had virtually accused Gordon of leaving him alone for months.

« Wait, what? Are you asking me information for a date? Are you serious? »

« Who should I ask, Jim ? To one of my minions? I think you have enough experience to give me some advice before I make mistakes »

Gordon kept looking at him as he would fix Bullock if he announced he would never drink again in his life. Oswald Cobblepot, the King of Gotham, was asking him for amorous advice? But above all, Gordon had always thought that he had had a relationship with Nygma.

« My romantic culture is based on quoting phrases from movies and books » Oswald said, almost in response to what Gordon was thinking.

Jim nervously ran a hand over his head, had never had a conversation like that, he had thought he might face it with Bruce Wayne, not with Oswald but he was there and was waiting for Jim to say something.

« Ok, first date. Do not force things, invite him to drink something out  » he began, not quite sure. Where should he start from?

« Why do you think he's a man? » He answered curiously.

« Is not it? So after Nygma I thought ... »

« Yes, you're right. Go on » Oswald cut short.

« Nothing, first date, have a drink and talk about common topics, something that interests both. Listen to him when he speaks, laugh at his jokes. Things like that. Then if things will go particularly well ... »

Gordon could not finish the sentence because Oswald silenced him by raising his hand « I am a gentleman »

« Ok, then you say “bye” and if the evening was nice, invite him to dinner or to the cinema. I do not know what you like doing in your free time as well as drinking, dominating the city ... and staring the blimp » he added and unexpectedly Oswald had a laugh.

« Do not go too fast, no declaration until you know what he thinks »

Oswald's gaze dimmed for a moment, Jim thought that maybe this was one of the mistakes he had already made, maybe with Ed and he felt sorry for him. The old Jim Gordon saw everything black or white and he saw Oswald only like a criminal, crazy and liar, but the new Jim Gordon, who had come out of a thousand situations and who had committed many errors, had begun to seize all nuances and do not  stop only on right or wrong. Oswald was a man who had been torn to pieces several times and always had got up again. However at what cost? He had lost so many loved ones and trusted the wrong people, yet he still trusted him, despite all their past.

Oswald broke the heavy silence that had been created « OK, James. I think it's enough »

Jim curled his lips. Should he have added something? He was already happy that he had not had to face the topic of sex, he did not want to have to explain to Oswald what and how to do it, especially imagining that the subject of the fantasies would have been the infiltrated agent Smith.

Although he had said only obvious things, Oswald seemed satisfied by the conversation, so after greeting him, he disappeared from the archive, leaving Jim alone to look at the files. He was not very sure of how things were going, but he felt a sense of discomfort imagining Oswald was going to do something with his accountant and he could not say exactly what the reason was.

 


	3. Chicks and dark side

**"5 P.M. at the old Fish’s Night Club"**

Jim was reading that text message trying to understand its implications and why Oswald suddenly thought he could command meetings. A sense of annoyance, a strange pain  in the pit of his stomach caught him when he feared that Oswald would want to talk about his date again. He almost would have preferred that the subject of conversation was closer to the normal activities of the king of the underworld.

He looked around cautiously, as if the other agents could guess what he was thinking and especially could understand the inner struggle he was facing: on the one hand he wanted to go to the meeting, exclusively to control him, not because the curiosity about what had happened with the accountant was devouring him, but on the other side he didn’t see why he should take attention for a Oswald sms.

He had even thought to ask if Harvey was informed of the agent undercover activities but he was afraid that Bullock would notice something strange and he would understand that Oswald had asked for help for his first date.

Oswald, who was always so complex, annoyed at having to talk to Jim and at the same time eager to bring their relationship back to what he considered an old friendship, continued to remain an enigma for Captain Gordon.

**"Can you give me an answer or do I have to send someone to get you?"**

The second message surprised him more than the first, showing a certain impatience. He put the cell phone in his pocket after writing "I’m coming", dryly, with the firm decision that he was going to the meeting but he would have said him that he was not his minion, and if he wanted a favor, he should have been much kinder  than how it was behaving.

Fish's old night had remained similar to a time; he had not set foot in it for centuries and for a moment the image of himself, four years younger, appeared in front of his eyes, crossing the hall with Harvey.

The atmosphere had changed, evidently Penguin was reorganizing it: the red velvets had been replaced by an electric blue and inside the boxes he had noticed the presence of umbrella lamps. At all evidence, Oswald was about to be thrown back into the Night Club environment.

The lights were dim but he could make out the unequivocal shape of Oswald sitting on the piano. It was the first time he saw him playing and it was a melody he didn’t know, but it was not particularly happy. When Oswald finally noticed Gordon 's presence, he stopped making his fingers dance on the piano keyboard and showed off one of his best smiles.

« Jim, finally. Take a seat » he rose from the piano, pointing to Gordon for a table where they could sit down .

Gordon looked around warily and, paradoxically, Oswald seemed to be on guard duty as well. He would have preferred a relaxed conversation but had understood for some time that the captain of GCPD had only interactions nerves with him.

« Why did you meet me here? »

« I have pick up the place, a new Iceberg Lounge. You know, I'm sentimental »  he said, looking around, as if he were imagining the place as it was once, his rise to power when everyone had underestimated him and also a tribute to Fish , who for better or worse, had done so much for him, more than he could have imagined.

« Yeah, the place where Fish has slaughtered you. Wonderful memories » Jim said ironically, while Oswald instinctively put a hand on his leg. It seemed like a lifetime ago, so many things had happened in the meantime.

« We met here, remember ? » Oswald said, with a curious expression that Gordon could not read, a mixture of melancholy and something else.

« Why did you summon me, anyway? »

Oswald seemed for a moment to waver, but immediately resumed his usual behavior « I need advice for the next step. I'm going to invite him for dinner but I'm not sure how I should behave »

Gordon feared anything like that, but he really hoped it wasn’t for other love tips, that the appointment had not gone so well, that maybe Oswald had found agent Smith was boring, obvious, a bad copy of him and Ed. He gave a faint sigh before making sure of what he was thinking.

« So the cocktail went well? »

Oswald smiled but did not answer, and Jim felt even more annoyed with such mystery. When he was about to pursue him on what had happened or not, Cobblepot waved, and one of the employees appeared from behind the stage, dressed as a waiter holding a bottle and two glasses.

« Champagne? Or are you on duty? » Oswald said, while the man filled the two cups.

« I can have a drink » he felt he needed it, but not even the sparkling taste of champagne could distract him from the absurd situation in which he had been get into.

« The city is finally quiet » Oswald said, while he was taking a generous sip from his drink. Probably he would soon have to fill another; Jim thought to himself that Oswald's ability to withstand alcohol also surpassed that of Bullock.

« Yes, it's almost everything under control »

« Do you need a hand for something? »  Oswald said and Jim seemed really to be screened four years ago when Penguin had offered to help in ways that a police detective would never have accepted.

« No, we're fine » he said dryly, to non-agreeing to something he would soon regret.

Oswald took the hit but strangely he did not say anything, did not reply with a few quotes or a criticism or the usual pomposity about how it was necessary working together for Gotham behavior, and it surprised Gordon not a little.

« Are you feeling well? And not responding sarcastically as usual. You look different, Oswald » He did not know why he was worried about him. He said to himself that it was because they still needed a strong crime leader to avoid gang fights and bloodshed and at that moment Oswald seemed anything but strong. There was a certain fragility in him, he saw it from his eyes and from the lack of responsiveness in the answers.

« It was a stressful period. That’s it » said without ledge, as if he were talking about something very distant from him.

« Have you seen Ed again? » Jim said all at once and in response Oswald blinked, almost offended.

« Why are we talking about Ed? »

« He was your worst best friend ... I just thought ... » He wasn’t sure how ending the sentence. He wasn’t even sure where he was going with that question but he regretted having done so, as soon as he saw Oswald's eyes growing dark.

« No Ed, neither Victor Zsasz, nor Victor Fries, nor Martin, nor Butch... »

He seemed so dejected that Jim almost spontaneously reached out to touch Oswald's in a comforting gesture but immediately stopped. However, the gesture did not escape the look of Oswald who passed from staring at that hand stuck on the table, almost touching his, to look Jim in the eyes, as if he had a revelation or if something was going differently from what he had expected.

« You are alone at the top » Jim said, slowly withdrawing his hand.

« It doesn't have to be this way »

Gordon laughed tightly « I'm resigned to that by now. You can not fight for Gotham and have someone, you expose the other person to too many risks » It was horrible but it was so and he found absurd that Oswald, after all the blows he had suffered and losses, from his mother to Fish, still try to be loved by someone. He felt tremendously guilty, if he really cared about Agent Smith and then lost him, he would have been the cause of other undeserved pain. He was just about to betray himself in some way, dissuading him to have a sentimental relationship, when Oswald taken back the discourse.

« Or you expose yourself to the risk of being betrayed » Gordon found himself nodding nervously « Well, maybe someone who is conscious of risking and who would never betray you » Oswald continued to talk, with a look that seemed to silently add " _Or he never did it_ " .

Jim smiled in spite of himself; of all the criminals of Gotham, Oswald was the only one he could trust and that seemed to have at least a minimum of conscience not to blow up the city for fun, as most of the others crazy people that he had faced would have done. After all, he was an "honest criminal", as he had ironically defined himself.

He was about to say something but the inappropriate ringing of the cell phone stopped the conversation. Jim stood up from the table to talk privately, while Oswald watched him more and more puzzled.

When Gordon closed the call he had a worried face « Sorry, I have to go, work »   He was about to say goodbye when he remembered why he was there.  « Wait, we have not talked about your date »

« Ah, yes, all right, it doesn’t matter. I'll manage » he was sure that he had several things to think about, more important than how to invite someone to dinner .

 

**** * ****

 

« So who was the chick? »

Gordon and the other men of GCPD  had get together  at the usual place to have a drink after work, and Harvey's surprise question nearly stuck the whiskey in his throat.

« What are you talking about? »

« Yesterday, you got a text message and you left work. Today your mind is somewhere else, I would say that there is some beautiful woman in the air and maybe a lot of sex » he laughed as Jim's whiskey stuck definitely in his throat.

Some agents scoff around them and Jim glared at Bullock.

« Could you lower your voice? I don’t want they think their captain is absent for...  » He could not even add the word "fuck" that came a strange feeling, thinking about meeting with Oswald;  certainly their meeting were not sexual but soon, probably, he would asked how to take the accountant to bed and it wasn’t good for him.

« You know, I think men would be happy knowing their captain still has a private life, they would see you more human » said Harvey. «So, how does this mysterious person that you see in secret, look like? I bet she has dark hair »

Jim’s hands began to shake a little, he was feared that Harvey knew exactly who he had seen and he was deliberately teasing him.

« I say that because, apart from Barbara, your other love interest  were dark hair. Maybe, perfectly tanned skin? »

Jim laughed, thinking of Oswald's pale skin. « No, definitely not » he replied, before sinking back into his thoughts.

« Friend, is everything ok? » Harvey tried again, now a little more worried about Jim's elusive attitude.

« It's a strange situation, Harvey » he said, making himself serious. « I can not even understand what I feel. I feel like frozen, after Lee, Sofia ... »

« That's why you need good sex. A thoughtless thing »

Oswald 's words " _I'm a gentleman_ " echoed in Jim's head and he almost laughed. There had been a single time in his life that he had felt really connected to Oswald when they had killed Galavan together. The adrenaline, the darkness, had been the thing that had changed him the most in the world, the point of no return and at that moment he felt as if only Oswald could really understand him. That time, near the river, with gunpowder still on his hands, he had thanked fate because Lee was pregnant, home waiting for him. it had given him the strength to not transcend and abandon the light, but at what cost? It was always been his big problem not to come to terms with his dark side. He had to accept it, live with it and find the way to fight for the good, remaining true to himself.

 " _I'm the only one with which you can walk in the dark_ ", it was true and it frightened him terribly.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everybody and thank you for having read up to here.
> 
> There is a reason if everything is told from Jim's point of view, I hope you will appreciate the reason when the point of view will change.  
> See you next time.


	4. That's what friends do, Jim

It was been a week since the  meeting in the nightclub and Oswald still thought about his conversation with Jim, when he had almost touched his hand, how he seemed genuinely concerned about him. It was strange, unusual, especially it was not what he had imagined would happen.

He drummed his fingers several times on the desk because he was eagerly waiting for one of his men, Frank, the one who had more connections and contacts, returned to the manor to report what he had learned. When the henchman finally entered in Oswald's office, he didn’t restrain his impatience. He stood up and dragged Frank into the study; before closing the door he made sure that no prying ears could hear them.

« Boss, I only found this. I don’t know how useful it can be » The man gave a folder to Oswald, containing several photocopies that were soon scattered on the desk. Oswald stared at them trying to understand the big picture, which was strangely missing. Frank realized that it was time to leave him alone, so he silently left the office, not before the chief addressed him with a cryptic phrase « You know, Frank, sometimes the feelings cloud your mind and do not let you see what's happening around you. Other times it's the exact opposite, you see more than what's there »

The minion nodded, pretending to have understood what Cobblepot meant, while Oswald threw back in his chair, elbow resting on the armchair and the certainty that had to change strategy.

Even Jim was a bit worried, he had given up an evening with Harvey to stay at home and watch TV. In fact, his attention to the plot had gradually diminished and now he was lost in his head, wondering if he did not need to talk to someone about what he felt, or rather he did not feel. He glanced at his cell phone, almost hoping for an Oswald sms but the display did not seem to be on his side, so he resigned to spending the evening alone, in the company of his thoughts.

He felt particularly misunderstood in that period; he was very fond of Harvey but he wasn’t exactly the best person to meaningful conversation. He was a good friend, a perfect partner in the fight against crime, but he could not be entirely himself with him.

When he was with Barbara they soon had found themselves on two different levels while with Lee he could never be completely sincere, nor she was able to understand him entirely. Sofia had only been a mistake and he did not think of her except as a woman with which he had slept in a bad time of his life.

The night passed between strange nightmares in which he was thrown from the pier of Gotham and could not swim to the shore until a hand dragged him out of the water to take to safety and to be fair he had seemed to recognize the features of Oswald in his savior, which is why he woke up with a start.

The next day, fortunately for him, he was sufficiently distracted by two robberies to stop thinking about his inner demons and the day passed without further crisis or worry.

At the end of the day he was already putting on his jacket, ready to propose to Harvey to eat a hamburger in a new pub opened in front of his house, when finally the display lit up.

**"Are you available tonight, dinner at my house?"**

The fact that at least he asked if he was available and had abandoned the imperative tone was a huge advance. Jim took the jacket and greeted everyone, followed by Harvey's gaze that had even winked at him in approval. Gordon shook his head but refrained from specifying that it was not a "chick”: more time he lost to deny, more he confirmed everyone's thinking. Also, shouting "I don’t have an appointment" would have made him look nervous, a message he did not want to get.

Which then, in a certain sense, he had an appointment and he was engaged, even if in a strange relationship in which he gave amorous advice and costed with Oswald how many times they had been punched by Gotham, anyway it allowed him to get away from his concerns .

He arrived at the manor and one of Oswald's many minions, one who looked like the younger version of Butch, led him to a room that did not seem to be the living room. He wondered where they would have dinner and when he found himself in the kitchen he was rather amazed.

« Ta - daa » Oswald exclaimed, pointing with an elegant wave of his hand the laid table.

« Did you cook? » Gordon said, carefully observing the dishes, fearing to die poisoned « Can you cook? »

« Of course I can cook, James » He replied almost offended « Once I cooked for my stepmother, strangely she did not appreciate the dishes » he said with amused tone, while Gordon continued to watch what had been put on the table « Quiet, I chose a different menu for you, traditional, my mother's recipes » he continued, as if to reassure him, even if Jim had no idea what the dishes he had served to the former landlady and fortunately he would never know.

Despite the strangeness, Gordon had to admit that it all looked very inviting, from appetizers to pasta, the chicken aroma coming from the oven, so he settled, with the intention to not ask too many questions, but enjoying the evening.

« Very different from your usual hamburgers, right? » Oswald said, betraying a certain pride in what he had prepared.

« Very different from any home dinner » he replied, earning a smile from Oswald « You know, Barbara could not cook, Lee tried... » and broke off, realizing that somehow he was comparing Oswald to his previous girlfriends.

He coughed, before changing the subject « So, what happened with your dinner?  You got away without my suggestions?»

« No dinner yet » Oswald answered vaguely.

« You could take him somewhere out, a nice place » Jim had left home with the idea of not giving too many courtship advice, but after seeing the dinner he had prepared he was sure he did not want him to prepare for someone else, neither  Oswald and the Agent Smith were already at home and especially near the bedroom, when they would have finished dinner;a public place could be the best solution.

« Where would you go? »  Oswald asked.

« Well, it depends what you like » he replied with a slight embarrassment. « I'm sure he'll like what you like.I had taken Barbara to the clock tower on one of the first dates, butJeremiah blew it up.In fact it perfectly represents the relationship I had with her » he replied, mimicking the gesture of an explosion.

« I didn’t think you was still thinking about Barbara » Oswald remarked, with some interest, and Jim felt like he was under scrutiny.

« I no longer think of Barbara in that sense, but she has been part of my life and I can not deny it.It will always be: when you love someone, when you are in a relationship, there is always a part of you, even if small, that reminds you of the good old days »

« Yeah » Oswald exhaled. « There are love interests that never pass »

Gordon was about to ask what he meant, almost annoyed that it was an indirect reference to Ed, but Oswald got up to retrieve the chicken from the oven so he kept any further comment for himself.

The dinner was superb, Jim thought that Oswald would have to devote himself to catering more than to night clubs and city domination.He savored every morsel, swearing that he would no longer eat precooked junk food.

« In any case, Jim, I have information for you. Valeska was sawn near the ammunition depot last night. I don’t know what he are going to do but I consider him more crazy than his brother, you should take a look.I would intervene but I don’t want to risk blowing up »

« Very generous of you » Gordon answered. « In any case, thank you for fulfilling your civic duty »

« It's always a pleasure, Captain » he said, nodding seriously, before both of them bursting into laughing, as if releasing the tension that they had accumulated at work.

Oswald was already clearing out to serve the dessert when Jim felt the urgent need to speak, perhaps to let off steam, because for too long he was forced to wear the mask of the incorruptible cop, the hero of the city.

« I'm sorry I did not show up in these last months, I thought it was better this way, for the city»

« No, you thought it was better for you and your hero-like figure » he replied, without blinking an eye.

« I was afraid to go further, to use the wrong methods to restore order»

« Sometimes it is necessary, and you know it » They looked at each other intensely, perhaps it haven’t happen from Galavan's murder, and Jim could not help asking him a question he always wanted to ask. « Why did you take the fall for Galavan?»

Oswald seemed to be on the same line as Jim because he did not seem surprised by the request « It did not make sense that we both go in jail »

« Witness against a corrupt policeman?They would have reduced your sentence, perhaps you would not even have gone in prison »

« That's what friends do, Jim, » he answered with a sigh, pulling out two slices of tiramisu.

Jim felt guilty further throughout the stuff of Agent Smith.As soon as he got back to the station, he would talk to Harvey and immediately remove the agent from his role, before things went wrong and he found himself taking care of a broken heart.In fairness Oswald wasn’t seem to care about agent Smith, he had never talked about the accountant until then and Jim had never returned to the subject just to avoid encouraging the development of the relationship.

« Do you know where I would always like to go on a date?» Oswald ask, looking around as if he were imagining a particular scene « To dance, I've never gone with anyone and now I can not anymore »

« Why?  » Jim replied, before realizing that Oswald was referring to his bad leg, and he earned the dirty look, like “ _a policeman should be attentive to detail_ ”.

« Have you never been dancing? Not even at the prom?»

« Don’t be ridiculous, Jim.Who would come with me? »

Jim scratched his head, undecided whether Oswald was trying to get invited to dance in the living room of the house or not, when he was further upset by a new revelation.

« And I never kissed anybody, here I would not suit me to die without ever having done it » he noted, being careful not to look in the direction of Jim but hoping he received the implicit message « I would need to practice, in case I find the right person.I do not want to commit any gaffes when I’ll go out with my date.Everyone says that the first kiss is the most important » he continued, now looking into his eyes.

«  Oswald, I think… »

« Kissing a friend would be a preferable first kiss and a beautiful memory, do you not think? »

The look and especially the speech of Oswald sent him in confusion to the point that he poured over the water he was drinking.

« Excuse me, I have to go.I remembered a commitment with Bullock » he said, rising abruptly.When he had already crossed throughout the living room and had his hand on the doorknob, he thought that in the end Oswald was asking only a favor, not too big.

He had begun to re-examine Oswald to keep an eye on him, to make sure he would not interfere with the work of the GCPD and to leave like that was not the best thing.He had to apologize, explain himself, make him understand that it was better to wait to kiss the right person, even if he was sorry that Oswald believed he did not even have a friend;normally Jim did not lend himself teaching his friends to kiss but Oswald seemed really in need of knowing that he could trust someone to the point of making such a request.And finally, he wanted to do it and he could not come to terms with why.

« I think the doorknob can stand alone, Jim » Oswald must have followed him into the lobby, while he fought against the urge to go and stay.

« Do you want me to teach you to kiss? » Jim asked, slowly turning.

 « Well, it could be a good way to repay for sending me to Arkham twice » he replied, before being dragged into his office, away from prying eyes.

 

 


	5. From another point of view

Oswald didn’t believe it would have really happened, he thought he'd pushed things too hard and Gordon would have run off the front door and never come back.

But when he saw him stopping and thinking he couldn’t believe in it: Jim Gordon was pondering whether to kiss him, and surprisingly he had dragged him in his office.

Oswald was so nervous that entering in the room he tried to close the door to avoid being disturbed, but the hands had begun to tremble and moreover he had forgotten the folder that Frank had given him a few days earlier in plain sight on the desk, so he had moved swift and he had covered the view of his work table.

Jim had not noticed his movements, he seemed really nervous too, unable to control what was happening, it seemed more than following a flow without thinking about what would happen next.

In the meantime, Oswald had gone to slam with little grace against the edge of the desk and the noise had been such loud that he realized only then that he had been holding his breath all the time.

« All right, let's do it » Jim Gordon said.

At that statement Oswald, who normally preferred to take situation into his hands, instinctively closed his eyes waiting for Jim to approach, but after five endless seconds nothing had happened yet and he heard Gordon snicker; for a moment he feared he'd made fun of him, that it was just a cruel joke and that he had never really meant to kiss him.

« Why are you laughing? » He asked annoyed opening his eyes, while Jim tried to change the expression from amused to serious.

« Because you can not just close your eyes, tilt your head slightly and wait »

Oswald did not like to look so awkward and inexperienced, especially in front of Jim Gordon who had probably kissed so many women that he had lost count « Well, I thought you had to do something »

« And you stay there, passive? Is this your idea of "kissing someone"? »

Oswald snorted and rolled his eyes. « All right, Professor. Teach me » he replied, spreading his arms in surrender.

Jim became serious and Oswald’s heart started beating really fast, at a speed he had never felt, not even in his worst outbursts. « You approach and feel the electricity in the air, something that is about to happen. You finally get to be face-to-face, there is that moment before a kiss that you find yourself to smile, a mixture of embarrassment and expectative »

Oswald had clenched his hands on the edge of the expensive wood of the desk, almost supporting himself, but he had never taken his eyes away from those of Gordon, who did not seem insecure, indeed he was putting much more transport than Oswald would have expected. It was not an act of compassion for him at all, it was something more.

While Oswald was pondering if he have deluded himself and Jim was always the usual, good Jim, who wanted to do something kind, he felt the contact of Gordon's hand on his side. He stared at the hand before turning his gaze back to his courting teacher.

« What are you doing? » He asked in a broken voice, slightly higher than usual. He did not want to appear in the middle of a panic attack, but he definitely was.

« Where did you think you were holding your hands? In your pocket? »

« Well, no ... I don’t know » Oswald answered quickly, looking at his hands still stuck on the desk and thinking that he could actually move them somewhere else, but he did not seem to be able to pull them off, as if they had been glued to wood.

« When you are at this point, so close to feel the other's breathing and the heart pounding in the chest, well at that moment you can tilt your head ... but do not close your eyes yet » Oswald did not even try to object to that order he did not want to miss anything that would happen, especially Jim's dilated pupils that concealed a wish he never expected.

« Okay… »  he replied in a whisper, trying to breathe while Jim's face was approaching and for once it was not to threaten him for something he had done .

Jim's lips gently pressed on him and finally Oswald Cobblepot discovered what it was like to be kissed by someone, and not just any one but Jim Gordon. While exploring this wonderful thought, he realized that Jim was hugging and caressing him and he started to shake like a leaf, before returning the kiss and finally moving his hands on Jim.

It was all so perfect that Oswald would have liked that lasted forever but the dream shattered too abruptly. Gordon suddenly broke off, leaving Oswald gasping, as if he lacked the air. Gordon pulled back and Oswald, who was smiling a moment before, felt his eyes moisten slightly.

« Jim? » He tried, uncertain, without receiving an answer.

Jim did not open his mouth, looked at him in shock, turned and walked out the door without another word.

Oswald stared at the closed door for at least ten minutes, unable to move a single step, not even to run after him; the last three weeks had evolved so unexpectedly that he said “idiot” to himself.

He should have imagined the eternal crush on Gordon would be back, he had played with fire and irremediably lost.

« To hell with all of it » he shouted, at that moment he did not care any more about the GCPD, the conspiracies against him, control, he just wanted to figure out what Jim thought and he wanted to know right now.

 *** * ***

Jim lied down on the couch as soon as he set foot home. All the absurd things that had happened to him in his life, he did not believe that one day they would be overcome by "having a crush for Oswald Cobblepot".

He could go on telling himself how many falsehoods he wanted, but there were no other reasons why he had decided to kiss him. In short, if Bullock had asked him something like that, he certainly would not have said yes, while for Oswald he had only thought a few minutes before making that decision.

Needless to continue feeling guilty to have deceived him, it was not for what he had escaped from Oswald's manor, it was because he feared he would not stop kissing him, he would go further and he would end up feeling wrong, because he really could not start a relationship with the boss of the city and, moreover, he was not so sure of how Oswald thought it.

That thing had to be nip the bud, whatever it was, wherever it was carrying them, I could not have a relationship with Oswald Cobblepot.

" _Sofia was fine, instead_?" He found himself thinking of it, as if in an imaginary dialogue with himself.

He was considering how easy it had been to say yes to Oswald, for dinner, for the kiss, when suddenly the mobile phone display lit up.

A new message from Oswald, he should have ignored it but he was too curious and above all he was questioning to himself if he had hurt him or not.

**" Please Jim, can we talk? "**

" Please " Jim gave a faint sigh. What exactly did he want to talk about? How inappropriate or exact it was? What exactly did Oswald want from him? To be honest, even himself didn’t know what he wanted.

**" Jim, really "**

Gordon counted up to ten, he began to compose several messages and eventually closed his cell phone, postponing each decision the day after.

On the other side of the city, Oswald stared at the phone, hoping for an answer. He could have called Gordon but he did not want to face him in a phone call, he wanted to see him face to face, he did not want Jim had time to make up some excuse, he wanted a sincere reaction. But after an hour of useless waiting, he threw his cell phone from the other side of the room, in anger; he had to get his attention in another way or at least close the game.

He moved from the desk, which he probably would have personally destroyed with an ax as soon as he had the chance, because he could not think in the future to discuss business where he had been kissed and dismissed by Gordon, and he went looking for the phone he had launched somewhere in the room and for a good glass of brandy.

 

*** * ****

The next day, Gordon arrived on time at the police station, his head still full of thoughts, most of which concerned Oswald.

« Jim, here you are. I have news » Bullock welcomed.

« Not now, Harvey! You must call Agent Smith back in. Do not ask me why, just do it » he said, trying to keep calm and hoping that Bullock would not ask for an explanation because he would not be able to give it to him.

« Okay, Captain, then you'll be glad to know that Smith is already in the locker room. As far as he is concerned, Penguin fired him in the morning »

Gordon picked up the news in amazement and without listening to the rest of what Harvey was blabbering, but he only understood words like "Cobblepot must have understood", ran to talk to Agent Smith.

He found him where Harvey had said, he was recovering his belongings from the locker, probably to go to New York from the family as was the initial plan.

« Captain » he nodded.

« Could you explain me what happened? » Gordon asked, staring at the man and feeling a bit of jealousy that soon drove away somewhere in his mind.

« Nothing actually. As I said to Bullock, for as long as I was employed by Penguin I worked as an accountant and only on clean business, which also made me think he had discovered me, but he did not send me away and I took advantage to investigate »

«You wrote to Harvey that everything was ok »

« And it was, I often had the chance to search around the manor but I did not find out much. I do not think he is interested in our operation, he was particularly distracted by something else, or rather by someone he went out with »

« Wait, did not you go out with him?  » Gordon asked, feeling like slapped by the revelation.

« What? No, I don’t know who he was going out with, but I know he met someone for a drink in the old Fish Mooney’s club and for a dinner at his house » he paused as Jim uttered a loud sigh, only realizing at that moment that he had been manipulated like a rookie. As usual, never trust Oswald Cobblepot.

« Wait, Bullock told me to make nice but not that I have to go out with Cobblepot » the agent Smith explained, with a disgusted face that Jim had an impulse to break with a punch, but he held back.

« Captain, are you all right? » He said nervously, watching Gordon as he began to pace back and forth.

« Very well » he said, before disappearing from the locker room, taking care to slam the door very hard.

He surpassed Harvey, dodging; it was also his fault if he had ended up in that situation because it was his stupid plan that had pushed him to control Oswald.  Without worrying about the fact that he was the captain and had to manage the work, he went straight to the door.

As soon as he was out, he finally decided to reopen his cell phone and answer, he really needed to clarify.

**"** **My home, now!"**

 

 


	6. Were we going out together?

Opening the door was a breeze; Jim Gordon evidently did not pay too much attention to his safety or perhaps he believed that no one would dare to force the lock of the Captain's apartment.

More likely, he believed he could not avoid it anyway.

Oswald looked at the apartment, disconsolately; he had never seen a place sadder than that. He sat down, so to speak, on the couch that seemed to have been retrieved from a landfill. Everything was so aseptic that he almost regretted Barbara's apartment, where Jim lived when they met.

Jim Gordon who had saved his life and continued to mess it up, without even realizing it.

He was nervous, three weeks before he had believed that the inevitable conclusion would have been a clash with the GCPD, instead he was in the Gordon's apartment undecided on what to say and how to say it.

Had he ended up hearing something that could be classified as a strong sentiment for James Gordon? Yes, he did not want to talk about love because to admit such a thing would be counterproductive. He did not know what Jim felt and did not want to indulge his stupid emotions by classifying as love, something that might not have been reciprocated.

Anyway, did he really hope that someone like Jim Gordon could fall in love with him? He gave a faint lament; probably he was embarking on yet another disappointing experience of his life.

He had not to remain a long time alone to reflect on the lack of furniture and what was or was not love, because few minutes after his entrance, he was joined by the owner himself, who did not seem surprised when he found him already sitting in his waiting .

« I'll tell you to make yourself at home, but I see you've already settled down » Gordon said, the tone had changed, it was rude, just as Oswald had imagined that Jim would react as soon as he spoke to his former accountant.

« Do you call this place “home”? I know that the salary of the policemen is poor, but you could buy some decent furniture, maybe give a paint job, in short decorate it » the tone wanted to be joking but Jim was not in the mood to laugh; He pounded his fists on the table, silencing Oswald that became suddenly serious.

« Were we going out together, Oswald? »

« Oh, I did not expect to go straight to the point » he replied, eyes in the Jim's eyes, happy that at least he had realized that they had had some sort of appointment. Oswald had seen Gordon angry many times but his expression seemed more disappointed and embittered than angry and this almost reassured him. If he had only been angry, it would have meant that the problem concerned having been deceived, manipulated; the disappointment and bitterness could be about something else, such as that pain in the stomach that Oswald felt every time Jim looked at him.

« If you want, you can begin to tell from three weeks ago, I'm all ears » Gordon roared.

« You mean when you got a spy in my house? Very well, let's start from there » the tone was calm, almost accommodating. Jim decided to sit next to Oswald, being careful not to touch him, not even by mistake and Penguin  could not help but notice. He gasped for a moment, hurt, but he went on anyway, hoping that Jim would have understood eventually, that he would not be huddled up with supposed moral values.

« I was looking for an accountant, as you well know, and I was introduced to this guy, anonymous, with a pleasant appearance, your agent Smith, in short. He passed the first routine checks, seemed okay, was even advised by other criminals; But he had something strange, I could not trust him » He paused, Gordon kept staring at him, and for a moment Oswald was prompted to shout "to hell "and resume kissing him as if nothing had happened, but it did not seem like Jim had appreciated at that time, indeed, risked a tremendous rejection.

« I had a more thorough check up and I found out he was a police officer and I thought "Wow, my old friend Jim Gordon, that I have not been hearing for months, get a spy in my home?" It made me a little nervous Jim. I admit I got all paranoid, the first thing I thought was that you wanted to bring down my empire again, after all I had done for the city and I'm still doing it. I could not fall into the dust again, not for your fault. But I could not send him away, not without knowing what your plan was, so I waited patiently for your move » He tried to keep a neutral, detached tone, despite the multitude of thoughts and feelings that had gone through his mind when he really believed that Jim wanted to betray him again.

« It was Harvey's idea » Gordon interrupted, bewildered, more and more regretted not having blocked that stupid Bullock’s plan; Oswald did not seem surprised by the revelation. In hindsigh, it did not seem like a Jim idea.

« Well, anyway, a week later you showed up at my house » he continued, lining up all the events.

« Oh ... » Gordon interrupts him « That was why you were so ... »

« Nervous? Stressed out? Tired of being betrayed by you? Yes, but that day you confused me, I could not understand what you  wanted. You said things would come back as before, and other rants that clashed with a spy in my house » He had begun to rub his ankle, not because it hurt him but because of a conditioned reflex: he felt exposed, insecure, and that gesture had a comforting effect.

« Then, when you were coming out of my office, your agent Smith joined us and I admit I played bad, I wanted that you believed that I had trusted him, that I had not discovered him but I was so angry that I exaggerated in being affable It almost seemed like I liked him » he paused again, and this time he could not hide a more tender expression, which displeased Gordon a little « you had a weird reaction in response to my behavior, so I took advantage of it, I thought that I could keep an eye on you while you kept an eye on me »

Jim shook his head « Taking advantage of my propensity to help others? »

Oswald wanted to explain to him that what was supposed to be a move to manipulate him, to control him, had turned against him unexpectedly, but he could not express it, not without feeling ridiculous.

« You seemed really worried about me » he tried, and it was Oswald 's turn to shyly stretch his fingers to try and touch Jim's, which he immediately withdrew.

« So you told me you were going out with him » Gordon felt his anger rising second by second. How could he have believed that Penguin had taken a crush on a newly-known one, he did not even know it. Maybe he was just jealous and had not thought hard enough or maybe he liked to have an excuse to see Oswald out of work, even though he was giving amorous advice that he never gave up in the end.

« I never said I was going out with him, Jim. You deduced it; think back to our conversations, never once I mentioned him, nor I said that I would go out with someone else »

Jim gave ff a deep, long,  breath  « Very smart, so what? Did you ask me for advice to go out with me? » He shouted.

Oswald tried to answer several times but only nodded. After all, the strategy had worked and he had managed to prove to Jim that he really was the only one he could walk with in the dark.

« And what did that you for? I was not plotting to undermine your empire, Oswald »

« Now I know » he said calmly, but Jim did not seem to be on the same page.

« So what was it? A test? Did you want to see how far I would have gone? How far could you handle me? »

« Oh no, Jim. You didn’t do anything that you didn’t really want to do and I showed it to you. You know that it is so »

Gordon's expression changed from anger to what appeared to be awareness. He rose from the couch as Oswald watched him move uneasily around the room.

Jim didn’t know what he really wanted to hear, but in the end he was a little disappointed, weird, sure it was not like that things should go. He knew he was dumping all the "blame" on Oswald unjustly, just because he did not want to admit that he was also ready to forgive him, so much he got involved.

He turned to Oswald and the expression he gave freeze Oswald.

« Go away»

« You called me here » Cobblepot protested, getting to his feet and waving his arms to emphasize how unreasonable Jim was.

« Only you can make the hysterical fickle? Now that you've clarified your position, I have to go back to work. I have rather urgent business that I left behind to come after you » he replied, nodding at the door that Oswald did not follow, but he got closer; usually in their previous interactions, at this point, they would start a bickering that would culminated with Gordon who jerked his collar, but Oswald hoped to inspire some other emotion in him that was not rage.

« Do you have to go back to the police station to dismember the gang that is terrorizing the slums? » He asked, looking like he knew many things « I can really help you, Jim. Let me intervene »

« No, it was just what I did not want: your meddling» Jim got close in turn, they were close enough that Oswald felt his breath and could not help but think back to all of Jim's monologue on what happened before a kiss. He had never really wanted to kiss someone, but with Jim Gordon it was different, everything was different with him, but never easy. He was sure that even Jim was thinking back the night before, he had seen him uncertain for a moment, as if he were pondering what to do, but in the end he looked away, breaking the tension that had been created.

« Do whatever you want, James. But don’t pretend that nothing has happened » as much as he felt broken, he wanted to provoke a reaction from Gordon, something that reminded him that no one had forced him to run to him and to kiss him .

Jim thought back to his sleepless night, to the fact that he had concluded that whatever was happening between them had to nipped in the bud;  proving hesitant would only strengthen Oswald 's belief that he had proved knowing him better than he thought.

« Nothing happened and nothing will ever happen, clear? Do you know why? Because I think a relationship can not start with lies, manipulation and anything else in your repertoire » he said, pointing straight at the exit door. Oswald hold him by the arm instinctively. The contact was so unexpected that Jim found himself wondering if it ever happened; it was usually him who put his hands on him to threaten him, escort him, arrest him, he could not focus once it was Oswald to touch it so firmly.

« Let me go, now! » Anger, Oswald was so used to Jim's nerve reactions that he was not even hurt and let him go.

« If you want to break up with me it’s ok, but do not tell me it's because I lied to you, you did the same by get me under control. You thought I was going out with a cop, you knew when the mission ended he would give up me and this is horrible but I'm not angry, Jim » he replied, trying hard to keep the mask of indifference.

« It's true, I did the same, I lied to you. Do not you wonder why? Maybe because I don’t care to have a relationship with you or I didn’t care to hurt you. I'm not breaking up with you because we were not together » he replied, knowing he was lying and he left the apartment, closing the door behind him "We were not together" he repeated as he walked back to the station.

 

 


	7. I'm sorry

« Finally, everyone in jail »

Harvey, proudly, threw in the cell all the gang’s criminals they had been looking for in the last few weeks. Finally the people of inner city were safe and they could think of the next case.He was euphoric, for once everything had gone according to plan.

The same could not be said of Gordon;he had participated in the blitz, he had coordinated the men with precision and professionalism, but he was lifeless, without edge and without enthusiasm.

Harvey joined him in his office, where he was holed up to reflect, after the success of the mission.

« Jim, what's wrong with you? Problems with that woman you were dating? »

Gordon gave a snort, almost a bitter laugh « It's a bit more complicated than that »

Harvey encouraged him to tell about it and Jim smiled at the good friend who was always Bullock, for better or worse, even in the worst moments. He fiddled with a pen on his desk and he could not get out of his head that imagine of Oswald, staring at him with wide eyes, after they kissed and he had left him.Bullock ran his hand across his face, to get his attention, and Jim shook his head, unsure what he actually could or wanted to tell.

« I can not be honest with myself, I can not admit what I feel. I told you, it's complicated and I must dismiss this thing and move on » he replied, with a slight lump in his throat.He could not look at Harvey in the eye, he felt that he was staring at him, studying him, he was afraid that he might read him inside, that he understood his conflict: he was in love with Oswald Cobblepot and he had to come to terms with.it as soon as possible, in way to block any feeling for a gangster.

Harvey approached him and Jim looked up, almost defenseless « It will hurt you, Jim, like all the things you do not face. Whatever it is, it will end to wear you out »

« Are you a wise man, Harvey? You do not even know what I'm talking about »

« I know that this city swallows you without asking for permission and you can not live only for work, nor become a robot for the good of the city. Whatever it is, let yourself go, friend. Maybe it will be a mistake but at least you will have tried »

Jim was sure that if Harvey had known he was talking about Oswald, he would not have pushed him in that direction;he was tempted to confess everything, that he had almost blown up three weeks of work for an unexpected crush, when Bullock added « I'm not out of the world as you think, it's clear that you have a certain propensity to lose your head for dangerous people: Barbara, Sofia, even Lee chose a dark path for the good of the city. Whoever is the person who is messing with your life, I guess it's someone dangerous and this is stopping you»

« Harvey » he tried to start the conversation, to explain that after so many years of a strange relationship with Oswald, he had realize he could feel something, he could to be able to be free, to be himself with him and it was frightening and tormenting him, but he was immediately interrupted.

« I do not want to know who is it, at least you must try to be honest with yourself and get in there. But do not do anything that I would not do » he added, joking but Jim did not hold back an angry expression, he was sure that Harvey would not kiss Oswald and did not even want to imagine it.

The noise of someone knocking at the door and the entrance of one of the patrol officers, distracted both from the conversation.

« I'm sorry to interrupt, Captain, but I've heard some of the men we arrested talk to each other »

They both stared at the agent, waiting for to proceed with the speech.

« They named Valeska »

Gordon held his breath. He had removed that information that Oswald had given him, it was somewhere in his mind, distracted by missed dancing, kisses and the revelation of being manipulated by weeks« Oh, shit. I completely forgot about it »

« What? » Bullock asked, raising an eyebrow.

Gordon was already dressing, took his jacket and gun and rushed out of the office.

« Oswald talked about the ammunition deposit, I’m going to check it out »

« Oswald Cobblepot? » Harvey asked, running after him.

« Of course! Do we know other Oswald?»

« No, I was just amazed that you had seen him recently » he said, taking his hat while Jim did not even bother to tell the men where he was going.

Bullock continued to trudge behind him and put his hand on the handle on the door before Gordon could get out.

« Jim, we just got back.We could interrogate the men we have arrested rather than runningblindly. If we run all together at  the docks, Jeremiah could put something in place at another point and we’ll leave the city uncovered.You do not even know if what Penguin told you is true »

« I trust him » he replied, and this was enough to silence him and let go of the handle «You and the other agents interrogate the gang to find out what they know.I'm going to check »

« You do not go alone! I'm coming with you »

**** * ****

Bullock stopped the car right outside the depot.Being at the dock  in the evening, looking for Valesk,a was not the ideal way to end the day, especially when they had already had their fair share of shootings and arrests.In addition, Bullock was worried about Jim,he did not seem focused enough, not as much as the situation demanded.

Harvey was about to ask Gordon if he had any idea about what they would find, what to expect, when unequivocal noises from the building caught them off guard.

« We've got live fire » Bullock said, alarmed.

« You go to the back, I step in front »  he replied, without waiting for comments from Harvey but rushing towards the source of the noise.Harvey shook his head and immediately called for reinforcements, certainly could not get carried away with Gordon's suicidal aspirations.

Jim pushed gently the front door of the warehouse; the sound of gunfire came from the east area, so he felt safe enough to walk the other side of the building, sneaking through the boxes.When the shots began to intensify, he could clearly distinguish some men dressed in an eccentric way, almost certainly Valeska men and other men, dressed as gangsters, some had familiar faces, and to look better he leaned out of his corner.

It was a moment, a bullet missed him for a while, but not because he had dodged but because someone had pushed him down a moment before he was hit.

He found himself on the ground, with the sounds of gunfire ever closer and someone above him.

Jim's eyes widened when he realized that the body above his, the one that had saved him by throwing him to the ground and that he was lingering a moment too hugging him, was Oswald himself.

« Welcome, Jim »

He knew it was totally inappropriate to remain embraced to Gordon, when it was assumed that after the rescue he would immediately move, but staying so close a few seconds would not kill anyone, after all he had just saved him from certain death.

« Emh... Oswald, could you move? »

He shifted in embarrassment, while Jim was trying to work out what the hell was going on.

« Are your men, those? » He asked, passing his gaze from him to the gangsters who were stirring among the boxes.

« Someone had to stop Valeska, do not you think? » Oswald answered, getting back to his feet with difficulty, because when he had knocked down Gordon he had hit the bad leg; Jim lent a hand to help him and Oswald promptly took it« I was sure you'd forget to go check » he added, and could not avoid winking, joking that did not suit the situation.

Jim looked at him strangely, it was a weird way to meet again and he found it rather suspicious that Oswald had felt the sudden impulse to go and stop Jeremiah « I thought you said you did not want to do it, to avoid blowing up »

« I wanted to prove you that I'm useful, Jim » he said, aiming his eyes in those of Gordon and for once Jim was gasping, realizing he was still holding his hand. He wanted to tell him a lot of things, not least that he was happy to see him again, even if in a very bad situation, but he could not say anything about it.

« Did you think he had an army? » he asked, postponing each conversation about his feelings.

« Obviously not. Are your men lined up? »

« Not really, I hope Bullock warned them »

The shooting was moving closer and closer to them, so they decided to split up to surround the remaining Valeska’s men. Oswald moved to a sheltered corner where he could easily use the machine gun. When the shots finally subsided, he started to check the "damage", that was how many of his men had remained standing: more than he hoped, a fact that was not negligible.

He wandered among the corpses, Valeska obviously was not there but he imagined he was not present, his men were only guarding the warehouse, it was not their den. He moved to the front door when he noticed a body on the ground.

He started running, despite his leg being particularly painful after Jim's rescue;it seemed to him that those fifty meters that separated him from the body to the ground were five hundred, until the last, he hoped he was one of Valeska's men who looked particularly similar to Jim Gordon, but the closer he came, he realized that it was a vain hope.

« Jim? » He shouted, throwing himself next to Gordon, who had been badly hit in the stomach. He had hands covered in blood and he was trying to dab the wound.

Gordon barely noticed the presence of Oswald, who in the meantime had passed his arm under his head while with the other hand he was looking for the cell phone in his pocket to call the ambulance. He heard Oswald's voice like a whisper, it seemed he was arguing with whoever was on the phone and knowing him, it was very likely.

Oswald closed the call and brought a hand to Jim's face, trying to keep him awake until help arrived.

« O - ok, calm down. The ambulance is coming. It is not the first time they shoot you, it will be fine » he tried to keep a calm tone but his eyes were starting to get wet.

« I look really bad, this time » Jim told him, his voice feeble like a whisper.

« Do not... do not say that. You can not do this to me, you are resurrected for everyone, do it for me too »

Gordon smiled « I'm sorry »

Oswald would have wanted to slap him, screamed that the defeatist attitude was not very productive, but he heard footsteps behind him and an arm lifted him up, putting him back on his feet.

« Move, Cobblepot. Doctors are here »  Harvey roared, as the paramedics surrounded Gordon and carried him away on a stretcher.

Oswald followed the scene in silence, despite the weight of Harvey's gaze on him.

« What has it happened between you and Jim Gordon? »

He only needed to be questioned by Bullock. He wanted to scream at him that it was none of his business, that he had been a very bad partner, considering thatJim had been badly injured, that he was a very bad friend because he did not know anything about what happened to Jim and above all that he hated the stupid plan that had put Agent Smith at his home. Without that plan, Jim would never know about Valeska and no one would have shot him, but above all, without the stupid plan, he would not be so badly for how much he missed Jim.

« Nothing, what do you suppose has happened? » He only exhaled, unconvinced.

Harvey looked at him suspiciously, but decided it was better to go to the hospital whether to keep on discussing with Penguin, so he did not ask for anything else. He was already leaving when Oswald held him by the arm.

« Could you let me know how he is doing? » He figured he would not be among the most welcome guests at the hospital and did not want to put Gordon in embarrassment in front of the rest of the GCPD - because Jim would recover, there was no doubt - but he needed to know the fate of his Captain.

 


	8. Dancing in the dark

Jim Gordon woke up wrapped in a strange warmth and the smell of disinfectant. He felt that something was lying above him like a blanket   - here is the feeling of warmth - but he didn’t remember going to sleep, nor having covered himself. He opened his eyes slowly and realized that he was in the hospital with several cables connected to his body and what appared to be Bullock, asleep on the chair. Only then  he remembered the warehouse, the shooting ... « Oswald?  » He murmured.

He tried to stay awake, Harvey rose from his chair to approach him, but soon he closed his eyes again.

He opened them again, it was darker, it had to be evening or maybe night, and there was only a dim light next to his bed. He thought he saw a pair of blue-green eyes, particularly worried, but he was too weak to remain conscious, so he fell asleep again while a trembling hand gripped his.

Another day spent before he went out from his sleep and he had the strength to stay awake. It was new day, apparently morning, the blanket was still on his bed and the smell of disinfectant was mitigated by the presence of a bunch of lilies in a vase next to his bed.

Bullock was reading the paper and when he realized that Jim was finally awake, he jumped up.

« Jim, you came back to us. Lucky bastard! I was beginning to fear that we should take you to Hugo Strange for his abracadabra »

Jim smiled, he did not think this time he would stay alive and finding Harvey waiting for him was always reassuring.

« You are still weak, get some rest »

Jim noticed that Harvey was fighting the urge to say something. He feared there was bad news, that perhaps his condition was still precarious, that there had been some negative consequences from the shot and began to move to check that his body responded as always.

Harvey noticed Gordon's heartbeat increase in the machine that monitored his health and he realized that Jim was staring at him worriedly « The doctors said you're fine, you're ok » he assured him, before adding what he was hiding « I don’t know if you're interested, but  Penguin came to see you more than once. He always came at night, our agents didn’t see  him » he said conspiratorially. « He left you a furniture catalog; I don’t know what it means »

Jim laughed, maybe he really had to buy some furniture for the apartment « Stupid »

« And there's also an invitation for the inauguration of his club » he showed him a black envelope with the logo of the iceberg lounge printed on his back « It looks like a déjà-vu, don’t you think? You have already been invited to the inauguration of his club   »

« Yep »

« But I suppose this time you do not want to trash it » Bullock continued, extending the invitation and shaking his head before leaving his room.

**** * ****

Oswald was sitting on the piano of his club which he had not abandoned in the last five days. Bullock had sent him a message to tell him that Gordon had woken up and was fine and he had decided not to impose his presence in the hospital, if not requested.

He had waited in vain for a call from Jim, a message, something, but nothing came, with his enormous sadness. If Jim did not feel something for him, he could at least take account of his feelings and imagine that he was worried about him, but he was not significant as hoped.

He had decided to  make his peace and move on; Jim did not care about him, he had had the illusion of being able to count something but it wasn't like that. He was sad, he had to inaugurate the club that evening, he had also decided to postpone the event waiting for Jim but the chances that he cared to participate were reduced by the hour. Nothing had changed since four years ago.

He heard the door open, he was about to scream that they were closed and leave immediately, when the person who had entered took his breath away.

Every thought of a few minutes ago had been forgotten, Jim Gordon had come to the iceberg lounge.

He jumped up and left the piano to go meeting him; despite the last days in the hospital, he did not seem too much tried by the shooting, but to be honest, for Oswald, Gordon would have been perfect even after a month in Arkham.

« Jim , you were released! » he shouted. He wanted to hug him but after the rescue he still felt embarrassed and, in any case, he had no idea what Gordon was thinking.

Jim smiled, looking around, admired by the new furniture and the sophisticated atmosphere « In time for your inauguration »

« You're a few hours early for that » he corrected, even if he did not really want to put him right; he was more than happy that he was there but he did not know why he had come, if there was still some hope or if he just wanted to thank him for saving his life.

Jim approached slowly, almost mischievously and Oswald followed every move, uncertain. He needed his love counselor to understand what was happening but he could not ask Jim, he had to handle it himself.

« I know I'm early » he whispered, closer and closer  « Anyway I wanted some time alone with you »

Oswald thought Jim was about to kiss him, he was about to close his eyes, instead of the last Jim dodged to turn on the sound system of the room, leaving him open-mouthed .

Jim smiled, he was teasing him a little because he wanted revenge to be manipulated for weeks. He inserted a CD and returned to Oswald who was still resenting Jim's last moves: he was slightly annoyed at the missing kiss and waiting to figure out what Gordon had in mind.

 _♪_ _I found a love for me_

 _Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead_ _♫_ _(1)_

Gordon returned from Oswald and without warning, he put his arm behind his back, starting to move to the rhythm of the song.

Oswald stared at his arm first, then at Jim's feet and finally raised his head.

« What are you doing? »

« Did not you want dancing? It is assumed that you raise your arms and lean them on my shoulders or back, as you are more comfortable »

« I was not joking, I can not dance. How could I… I can’t! » He replied, annoyed and even hurt, because he really wanted to dance with Jim. He had never hated his ankle so much as at that moment.

« Not even a slow one? » He replied, pulling closer to him and forcing him to move.

Oswald began to tremble, Gordon was so moody that it was sometimes difficult to keep up with him. He felt all the warmth of his body, he loved that feeling. Since he was alone, he felt a huge lack of human touch, someone to love that hug him. And then Jim was Jim, not just anybody.

« If you're kidding me, know that it's not funny » exhaled, fearing that it was not true, certain things did not happen to him.

« I was thinking that in addition to walking in the dark together, we could dance in the dark, as the song we're listening to » he said, making him turn around a little, laughing.

Oswald held his breath, they were really dancing; he did not care about anything while Jim was looking at him as he had always hoped that one day it would happen. He contemplated him as he once had looked at Barbara and then Lee; he had envied them, but at that moment he was admiring him.

« Are you sure what you're doing? Do you not run away again? »

« I'm here, right? » He replied, a little softer, as Oswald kept fidgeting in his arms, insecure .

« Y-yes, you're here. With four years late and ... »

Jim rolled his eyes and decided to shut him up by putting his lips on his and finally he got a nice silence from Oswald. He just wanted him letting go, dancing, but kissing him was a great way to make him understand how much he cared about him.

 _♪ Dar_ _But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own_

 _And in your eyes, you're holding mine_ _♫_

« Jim ... » he called, his lips close to his neck and Gordon felt that the atmosphere was heating up, for both, because it was undeniable, he had already felt it the first time they had kissed; he would soon have to talk to Oswald about how appointments usually evolve, especially when the third is over, but for once it was pleasant to take it slow and savor every moment.

Especially when Oswald was so soft and defenseless, very different from his usual attitude.

« Jim , tell me you'll stay » it was little more than a whisper in his ear, the voice slightly broken, light and sweet and Gordon could not but hold him louder.

« I'm here, I'm still here »

_♪ Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms_

_Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song_

_When you said you looked at mess, I whispered underneath my breath_

_Darling, you look perfect tonight ♫_

_(1 ) Perfect - Ed Sheeran_

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, thanks for reading. I apologize if English is not perfect but I'm not a native speaker. A comment is always welcome, see you next time.


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